“When the Bootycalled Becomes the Bootycaller” (Title of My Autobiography)

“When the Bootycalled Becomes the Bootycaller” (Title of My Autobiography)

Between the end of last semester and now, what has happened? I WILL TELL YOU!

Trip #1: Lebanon with my fran/now roommate Julia for about a week in February.
Observations:
1. I’m a badass for going to L-non after I’ve been to Israel. Wha what! Didn’t let them stamp my passport in Israel.
2. Where all the people in Beirut? It was like a ghost town there. I feel like I saw more police officers and army peeps than actual civilians.
3. EVERYONE STARES AT YOU. In Turkey, people don’t really notice that I’m not foreign unless I start speaking English. And even then, they never make a big deal about it. But in Lebanon, people just STARED at us from a mile away. People walking on the street, driving in their cars, old people, young people…I felt like I had whale tail or something! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whale_tail) It might just not be that common to see a couple of whiteys roaming the streets but damn, didn’t yo’ momma teach you anything?
4. Every single taxi honks at you. “Taxi? Taxi?” they say. Do you think I want a taxi if I’m walking the opposite direction and trying to avoid eye contact with you? NO!
5. Randomly ran into someone I went to high school with in Costa Rica. The UWC world is SO small!
6. Lebanon really is a beautiful place. My previous comments might seem negative, but it was a nice trip. Biblos and Baalbeck are awesome. Wiki that shit!

Trip #2: Bordeaux to visit my friend Seth.
Highlights:
1. Speculoos is the shit! Brought two jars back with me.
2. I want to be Irish so I can say weird things like “your man”
3. People buy me drinks at the GCs (gay clubs) there. Not such much in Istanbul.
4. Best part of entire trip: walk of shame home alone in the rain through the streets of B-town. Guy wears make-up and put his Facebook status as “American Boy” the next day. Awkward much? Plus, I came home with a sore throat…Please judge me.

New Semester
Bogazici needs to get off its high horse. Their registration and scheduling process seems like a 3rd grader designed it and it took me almost three weeks just to get into four classes. Love Isty still, kind of over BU although your campus is really pretty.
P.S. Turkish students do not know how to walk! Get out my way!!!

Positive: Made friends with two of the OU kidz here this semester. Hardcore shoutouts o’clock to Courtney and Matt! <3
Negative: The Bogazici University Gay Club still only has four members:
Co-presidents: Julia and Myself
Drunk secret teller: Matt
Turkish outreach liason: Courtmew
If you know anyone who is interested in joining, please tell him or her to come to an informational meeting in my bedroom. Directions: walk up four flights of stairs and walk through some rainbow streamers. Trannies are welcome also.

Trip #3: Netherlands and Belgium to visit our very lekker Erasmus friends from last semester. Miss them again already!
Happenings:
1. Rainbow flags everywhere!
2. Bought a space cake and then lost the bag. Dumb bitch me.
3. Moving to Amsterdam or Brussels at some point inshallah ☺

Fun Facts:
1. Got bit by a dog because my phone rang. Apparently, they don’t like my ringtone. Had to get four rabies shots over three weeks. However, I did not have to pay for anything. #cheap4life
2. Got bootycalled by a Turk right after we got back from Brussels. Turned it down because I was tired and had class the next morning. The very next night I tried to return the request. Didn’t even get a response after texting some very explicit messages. I don’t understand. #confusedfatgirlalone4eva
3. G3 Summit is happening. Gerogia, Armenia, Nagorno-Karabakh, and eastern Turkey best watch out! #pleasedontshootus

Author: Peter

I’m a failed model/international peace mediator. I like telling stories, traveling, and guys. Besides becoming Oprah, my biggest life goal is to be able to do the splits. All the way.

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