Alright, so this is what we’ve all been wanting to know: how do things turn out between my mystery acquaintance from the past (although everyone knows who I’m talking about) and me when we finally meet up again two years later. Can you guess? Well, it happened this weekend and it’s juicy, so strap yourself in.

But first, let’s back up a little and I’ll tell you how things have been going outside of that. I’m semi-making friends in class. I mean, sometimes I feel like I have people to hang out with, but other times, I think to myself, why have I been in my room for 5 hours and no one has called, texted, sexted, emailed, facebooked…Needless to say, I’m still not in love with it here, but it’s way better than spending all summer in Norman in my opinion. Did I mention it’s free? Yet another reason I can’t complain.
So one night last week, I decided to not be mopey and think about all the close friendships I don’t have here, but to take advantage of my location. I’m only a bus ride from downtown Jerusalem a.k.a J-Ru. So, I hopped on the bus that I knew went to Old City (where the Wailing Wall and the Golden Dome and all that shizz is) and got off at the right spot. From there, I could either go right or left and there were no signs so I had to take a guess as to which way was better. Forty minutes later, I realized I had walked in the wrong direction. Isn’t that fantastic? And it wasn’t scenic at all either. I had walked through construction zones and abandoned buildings. I thought I was going to get gang raped by a flock of rabies-infested stray cats. I still had a good attitude and finally got to the Old City. I went to the Wailing Wall, which is really neat, had a good twenty minutes of reflection and decided I better head home since it was about 10:30 pm. I finally headed back to the bus stop I got off at, and prayed that the right bus would come. It did! “Great!” I thought. I am such an independent person and can get around by myself abroad. I spoke too soon. The bus pulled up to this weird hospital complex thing with lots of construction an hour later and the driver told me I had to get off. I asked if this was the bus that went to my university and he said it was but I was supposed to take it in the other direction. Luckily another bus was leaving in the right direction in about twenty minutes. So, there I was holding back tears in the middle of nowhere Jerusalem with religious Jewish people and scantily glad Russian looking women and who decides to call? You guessed it! Talking on the phone with him didn’t help me at all because I felt even stupider. Eventually, I got back to my university but this is just one of the reasons why my relationship with Israel is on the rocks. Plus the sex isn’t that good any more.

Ok, ready? Here it comes!

Thursday night (which is like a Friday night in the U.S.), there was a White Night in Tel Aviv. That’s where a lot of the stores stay open, and there are concerts and exhibitions and stuff all over the city. So I took a bus (successfully) to Modi’in, the city of my girl Atalya. There, her mom fed me, while I waited two hours for Atalya to clean the bathroom…That’s weird, right? Well, it is Atalya. Then it happened. A certain someone (CS for short) met us there and then we all went to TLV together on the train. The first contact with CS after two years was awkward to say the least, but I genuinely was happy to see him and wanted to have a good time. But the whole train ride there, he honestly acted like a douche bag. He only talked about himself and found any excuse to talk down to us. When we got to the city, he just walked wherever he wanted to go, without caring if we were behind him or not. Whatevs. By UWC coincidence, our friend Shany from Austria happened to be in Israel as well and we met her along with 3 other UWCCR-ers from Israel. CS FLIPPED HIS SHIT for Shany. Let me repeat that, FLIPPED HIS SHIT. I think a part of it was to shove it in my face that he was happier to see her than me, but I’m not sure. The rest of the night, we walked around the entire fucking city of Tel Aviv. I swear to Oprah I must have walked 10 miles. I was a little cranky at the beginning of the night, thinking about the CS sitch, but then snapped out of it and ended up having a good time overall, although I was the only one in the group who didn’t speak Hebrew. Back to CS: he went from simply being conceited when it was just Atalya and me to PURPOSEFULLY NOT TALKING TO ME, NOT LOOKING AT ME, AND MOVING AWAY ON PURPOSE ANY TIME I WAS SEMI-CLOSE TO HIM. Being the mature person I am (haha), I tried to not make much of it at the time. He left earlier than anyone else because he was tired from a long week of work (which is understandable). But then he called Atalya because he had a question about the buses and I asked to speak to him. I told him that if every interaction we were going to have from now on was going to be like that, it’s just silly to even meet up. He told me that yeah things were kind of awkward but that he wasn’t upset with me or anything. This is where I’m confused. I wasn’t hoping to rekindle a romance, restart a friendship or even be on speaking terms. I just wanted to have fun with some friends from the past as I happen to be in fucking Israel. Fucking Israel. Like, I’m only here almost never so you could try to at least seem interested in my life for two seconds. Is that too much to ask??? Or is it normal for you to talk to everyone else except one person?

I haven’t heard from him since then, so it’s TBD what will happen with this dilemma. But this story actually has a happy ending, at least at this point in time.

We got home at 7am Friday morning, slept till 5pm, and then went for Shabbat dinner at the grandparents house. They are the nicest people and the food was awesome. Sunday, my future wife (for the green card), Atalya and I went to Jellyfish Beach. It’s not really called that, but it’s the place where I got stung by a jellyfish three years ago so I think it’s cursed. After this fun filled weekend and lots of thinking, I have come to the conclusion, that although the interaction between CS and I was shit, it was one of the best things that has happened to me lately. I feel like I have been hugged by Tyra because all the stress I was under before is gone and I have so much more confidence. I don’t get nervous thinking about CS anymore and honestly could care less to keep in touch with him once I leave Israel. Who wants to be friends/ even be in contact with a douche or someone who won’t even look at you in the eye? I have spent all this time hoping that he would come to his sense and that we could be friends again, but now, I FINALLY realize how silly that is. He has his new friends and his life and I have mine. I consider my friends to be some of the best ever and I’m at a point where I’m actually pretty content with my life. I also think that I’m a pretty kickass friend and a catch when it comes to relationships so if some Israeli can’t handle this, there’s plenty of fish in the sea, just not in Oklahoma. Of course, he’s been more than a great friend to me in the past, and with my maternal instincts, I know that if he was ever trapped under a bus, you bet your sweet ass, I would lift that sucker off of him. But nothing is meant to be now. Thank god I have finally come to this conclusion on my own. I feel like crying I’m so happy.

But let’s get to funny things, yeah?
1. In Israel, they have chocolate spread that you put on bread. No, not Nutella dumb bitches, if it was Nutella, I would have called it that. It’s pure chocolate and I have been snarfing it down ever since I got here. If I come back with a gut and thunder thighs, this is where I got it.
2. Israelis have no sidewalk etiquette. If you are walking in the opposite direction on a sidewalk, they will walk straight at you, even if there is tons of room. So dumb.
3. I stole a kipa from the Wailing Wall. Need to add it to my collection.
4. Both the toilet paper and tissues here are not the right consistency. Toilet pape
r feels like paper towels and tissues feel like napkins. I guess Israel doesn’t understand soft things for sensitive areas. ISRAEL’S A SENSITIVE AREA, WOULD YOU RATHER I WIPE YOU WITH A PAPER TOWEL OR TOILET PAPER?
5. My newest goal is to meet Atalya’s boyfriend. I hope he’s black.

Author: Peter

I’m a failed model/international peace mediator. I like telling stories, traveling, and guys. Besides becoming Oprah, my biggest life goal is to be able to do the splits. All the way.

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