I haven’t written a blog post since April!!!
The only excuse I have is that nothing super interesting has been happening to me or at least nothing worthy of a blog post. Also, I usually post lots of bitchy things so my blog absence just means that I have no bitchin’ to do. False! The main thing I want to post about is super secret because I can’t write about it until August when I move out of my house. (Secret: it’s about my roommate who I don’t get along with. AT ALL.)
But I digress. I will make this a recap of the major and minor happenings in my life that are currently blog-appropriate.
1. It is 91,000 damn degrees in DC! Don’t believe me? Watch this video. I have no clue where this woman is located but I would bet money that it is within a five mile radius of me.
2. Heat=sweat=rashes=Josie Gross-y. The Lord has blessed me with the world’s worst rash on my genitalia region this summer. It was so bad that I’m now on oral antifungal medicine. Again: ORAL. ANTIFUNGAL. God wanted to ensure that I would never get laid by giving me a physical rash and a mental complex that I have more STDs than the grown-up Mickey Mouse Club.
3. Work is blah but it’s become the perfect time to pay my credit card bill, buy plane tickets, and read a book. Keep that paycheck coming!
4. I got my wisdom teeth out. Now there’s plenty of room in my mouth. To all the Jew boys over 5’10”:
5. Going to Peru next month to see my future roommate Cindy Sue, ride some llamas, and eat some guinea pig.
6. I bought a plane ticket to Puerto Rico for Labor Day even though I currently have no one to go with. I may or may not have selected PR because Sabrina from “Breaking Amish” visited her family there.
7. I’m obsessed with “We Can’t Stop” by Miley Cyrus. If you’re wondering what to get me for Christmas, my birthday, or Kwanzaa, I suggest a jumbo pack of Twerk soup:
Well, that’s it for me for now. Be sure to catch my future post entitled “True Life: I live with a princess.” Be blessed and dressed to impress.
I’m a failed model/international peace mediator. I like telling stories, traveling, and guys. Besides becoming Oprah, my biggest life goal is to be able to do the splits. All the way.