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Month: October 2010

Robert the German Asshole

Robert the German Asshole

The juicy shit is coming, but I want to recap a lil’ bit right quick.

A week and a half ago was the Istanbul Marathon. This is really cool because for that one day the Bosphorus Bridge is open to pedestrians. It is normally closed because so many people have committed suicide off of it (drama). Thankfully, there are different race distances besides the marathon, including 15 kilometers and 8 kilometers. There is also a “fun run”…so we participated in that one but without the “run” part. After an early morning wake-up (6am), two bus rides, and some unhappy campers, we made it to the race. It ended up being an awesome day and I’m so glad I got to walk from Asia to Europe. I’m like Bono or something! It must make all the people who decide to hook up the night before and oversleep jealous. You know who you are! (They jealous)

This is what Mr. Bosphorus looks like when you’re on him.
Then my camera died 🙁

Let’s get to some rull drama. I mean DRAMA! Like I have mentioned previously, the boys in Isty have been lining up the block just to watch what I got (can’t compete with “Angel” though). The first guy of importance was Turkish and looked like Gael Garcia Bernal, or at least that’s what my drunken self thought. He didn’t speak the English very well, and by very well I mean, he knew maybe 10 words. He also kept telling his friend in Turkish that he wanted to speak “body language” with me…We’ll fast forward a little because you don’t need to know ALL those details.

I swear he looked like this

Guy #2:
My friends and I went to a party for Erasmus and Exchange students in downtown Istanbul. There was this guy with his one girl friend (not girlfriend) who I saw move closer to me. I thought, “Ok, I must be looking purty good tonight” to myself, and by myself, I mean, I told all my friends. So, they attempted to work their magic and figure him out. Their not-so-good detective skills found out that he’s not gay. What a bummer! Ok, I’ll find someone next time. But he kept standing there, right next to me! And then everyone started pushing me towards him, saying, “Go, Peter! He’s gay!” I thought they all just wanted to make fun of me, but it ended up being true. His name’s Robert and he seemed like a really nice guy. FAST FORWARD!!!

So, we kept texting back and forth the following few days. He invited me to meet his friends and I invited him to dinner with my friends. Everyone was nice blah blah blah.

This past Friday night, I was out with my slutty friend (shoutout to mah gurl!) who I knew was going to go home with someone (who looks like Frodo). And I was like, “Shit I don’t like being the third wheel, I gotz to go!” I texted Robert and he invited me to go to a gay club with him and another girl friend (not girlfriend). I met them there and we went inside. We’re all dancing. It’s fun. Next thing I know, I turn around and he is making out with some guy. AHHH HELL NO! NOBODY BRING ME TO NO CLUB AND MAKE OUT WIFF SUMWUN ELSE. NAHAAA!
What did Peter do? Well, I went up to him and told him he was a “big asshole” and left. When you’re drunk at four in the morning, you don’t have a lot of common sense, so I started walking home, which is like five miles away. I made it maybe a mile (maybe) then gave up and took a taxi home.

These are the texts from the next day:

“hey peter. hope u r not angry with me?! I’m sorry if i’ve hurt ur feelings last night, i didn’t want that.”

and i said yeah, you hurt my feelings. i thought you liked me, etc.

“i’m so sorry for that. didn’t know that it’d hurt u so much, sorry! and yes, i like you, but yesterday i just wanted to have fun, was drunk and didnt think abt you, this is my fault, sorry”

i didn’t forgive him, but i started feeling like the fat, low self-esteem girl that i normally am and asked him what he’s doing that night, trying to get invited. he told me he’s going out and that i should come BUT then he tells me he’s going to a gay club and i asked him if he was planning to get with someone else again and THE BITCH SAYS:

“if i go to a gay club i’d like to have a choice that’s why i go there u know. my feelings acc. (?) to u r not that strong. do u understand? :-)”

he likes emoticons. i told him he seems like an asshole right now and THEN:

“believe me i am a nice guy but i just need my freedom to do whatever i want 🙂 this is erasmus”



P.S. we haven’t texted since 🙂 <—-stupid emoticon

Why do I have to study when I study abroad?

Why do I have to study when I study abroad?

The first three weeks of class have already passed and I’m definitely feeling it. I know a lot of people think of study abroad as a time to get drunk a lot, hook up, and travel around a lot…yeah, so I’ve done most of that, but my studies are starting to creep up on me. I already have papers due and I always seem to have a fuck-ton of reading to do. That’s right: a fuck-ton. But what do you expect when you’re studying at “the best” university in Turkey? I mean, I would definitely prefer to have things way easier, but maybe this will be a good challenge for me? No, let’s just be honest: if I could, I would chose not to do anything academic while I’m here (except learn Turkish).

The weather in Isty has been sucking some pretty big balls lately. It just rains and rains all the time. And it’s cold. I do not remember Wikipedia saying anything about this. It says it rains three inches on average in October. I think it rained that much today. Wikipedia stoopid! That all I have to say. Some advice: yo’ clothes will not dry if it raining outside and you don’t have a dryer. To top this all off, right when it gets cold and rainy, the gas in our apartment got shut off. Something like the bill was still in the name of the last person who lived there so they just shut it off. So, no hot shower, no hot food, no heat for a week. (We just got it back yesterday) Now, the internet’s not working for the same reason. It sux! How am I posed to watch this week’s ANTM if there no interwebs? Oh well, hopefully this will all be solved by Monday.

In other news, I have recently acquired an obsession with being hygienically disgusting. For some reason, I just have not been able to motivate myself to take a shower everyday. And I wash my hair even less. So, when there was no hot water, I would take even fewer showers. I could have fried chicken in my hurr, I believe. But, that don’t stop the boys from coming to the yard.

Which brings me to the topic of BOYS. Let’s just say, I have received more attention in one month in Istanbul than I know what to do with. Let that simmer in your mind for a minute… And I’m gross! I don’t take showers and they’re bangin’ the door down! (not really) Israel can suck it! Istanbul’s where it’s at! I keep it as classy as I can thank you very much. But the Turkish gays are clingy. Of course, I love attention, but I can’t handle people telling me they love me after meeting me once. Ya know? And calling me “my baby” is kind of weird.

With regards to travel, I got out of I-bul last weekend for the first time since I’ve been here. I went with six of my friends to Bursa, which is about 5-ish hours away. We took an awesome ferry ride and then a bus to get there, stayed in a coolio hotel, and ate iskender kebab until I felt like I was going to fro up.
For those of you not-so-cultured folk, this is iskender kebab:
Is your mouth watering yet? If not, then think of me and iskender kebab at the same time and then it will be.
We also went to a small Ottoman village (willage if you’re German)and ate a typical breakfast in a tent and then wandered around in nature for an afternoon. Of course, I was the dumb bitch who stepped in animal poo, but that was only a minor issue. Overall, it was a great weekend and I hope there are many more to come just like it. (<–cliche sentence)

I’ll leave you with some life-changing facts about culture here:
1. Construction boots are all the happ with the Turks. Both girls and guys strut this trend in many different colors. Think FUBU, but Turkish?
2. There are so many blind people here!!! I cannot get over it not because they bother me, but because they are so mobile! The cars drive cray cray here, but these people don’t get hit. It’s amazing and all they use is a walking stick.
3. Cindy Woods is coming to visit me in December! WHAT WHAT!!! Who jealous? That’s right, ALL OF YOU!

Did I Just Get Hit On?

Did I Just Get Hit On?

Classes have finally started and I can’t decide whether or not I approve. On the one hand, I am glad that I have something productive to apply myself to and it saves me money because a large portion of my time so far here has been spent going out and drinking. Don’t get me wrong, I like it, but my bank account is like “ouch!” The negatives of classes are that I lose time spent sitting in front of my computer watching TV shows while eating Turkish chocolate spread (usually on bread but sometimes if it’s rough, I just eat it off a spoon). Also, my brain is still in summer mode where I have not been thinking about academic related issues at all. But it makes me feel better in class because English is my first language so I can take notes faster. Be jealous, Turks!

I am enrolled in four classes total: Human Rights, Seminar on Social Movements, Development and Growth, and Turkish. I thought about adding a fifth class, but then I asked myself, “Bitch, why did you come all the way to Turkey if you’re just going to study all the time?” Needless to say, I only went to one hour of that class before nixing it.

Pros and Cons of classes here:
-Books are way cheaper because you just pay for illegally copied versions of books.
-I don’t have class on Fridays.
-I speak English!

-Lessons for the same class aren’t held in the same classroom the whole week. They could be in one building on Tuesdays and a completely different one on Thursday. Why, Turkey, why?
-There are multiple campuses of my university that are only 10-15 minutes apart, but walking in between them can be a bitch.

Last night, the organization for exchange students here put on a cruise on the Bosphorus. Of course, we each had to pay about $20, but it was worth it because you got three complimentary drinks including a slim selection of beer, wine, and vodka. Please do the math:

No dinner + two STRONG mixed drinks + one beer + one super shaky boat = one fucked up Peter

It was tons of fun, but I am still surprised I did not fall over the railing of that sea vessel. I was looking forward to putting my elementary school swimming lessons to good use, but I am thankful now that I didn’t have to whip them out while intoxicated. They did teach us how to make a life preserver out of our pants though.
The party was the expected: people, music, dancing, drunk American girl being a slut, German girl throwing up, you know, the typical party. I think I got hit on by this Turkish guy? But his facebook profile says he’s interested in women. It’s like a reverse JuanBa. ALSO, he was double-timing me by being a player and trying to get with my (friend?) “Angel” when I wasn’t there. I wasn’t interested in him at all, but knowing me, I’m up for a little competition and just wanted to be the bitch cock-on-cock-blocker. Galen started it though by being a little diva because I asked him if he wanted the Turkish delight (wink) and he just gave me a look like “Queen, why are you talking to me?” BTW, I’m not a queen.
After the cruise, most of the people were planning to go out to another party, but I was super tired and decided to walk home. I thought walking would get rid of some of the drunk…nope. I got lost on the way haha, ate some drunchies, and went to bed. I also thought it was hilarious to take gross pictures of myself eating drunchies. See below:

I still think it’s funny.

My free Friday has been super unproductive.

P.S. If you can’t tell, things are getting better for me here. Still some kinks to work out, but it’s cool. So don’t be sad about my last entry!